Identification
A.W. is a 25 year old kinda Caucasian female from H-Town, TX. She went to Vanderbilt University in NashVILLE TN and graduated in 2019. She is now at University of Texas Sucking Worms school of Medicine in Dallas TX. She presented to the Lexicon at a frat party in 2016 and has had a terrible case of the love bug ever since.
Chief Complaint
“I must squeeze his butt but he resists.”
History of Present Illness
A.W presented to the clinic of love because she was seduced by a nerdy dweeb. She was in search of a way to bring down her social standing among the University of Vanderbilt undergraduate collective. Unfortunately, she did not realize how dweeby he was and the severity to which she would catch the love bug. She has reported instances of ‘fun’ explorations and ‘blob’ sessions with Lexicon. She has been trapped in this vortex of love for five years now and has yet to come out of it. Her family and friends are scared for her sanity
I think it is important we recount a few instances detailing her severe love bug infection.
In Texas
Here, A.W. is shown expressing positive sentiment around Lexicon. This is not possible of any normal human. She is even pictured spending her birthday with him and watching him eat green beans at 11:00PM. The fondue and crab cakes pictured here do look pretty dank so we will give her a pass on this one.
In Greece
This bug seems to have entered the deepest, darkest parts of A.W.’s brain. Seen here is her in Europe with Lexicon. They have convened on the other side of the Atlantic… In Greece
In ‘sf’
Some witnesses have spotted A.W in California in Lexicon’s primary residence, noting she was even there for weeks on end. She even decided to venture into the wilderness with him… alone. However, she did not trust him when it got dark, showing what we thought were signs of improvement.
In Nashville
After running various analyses and contact tracing, we have identified Nashville as the location of illness incidence. They have had one too many fun nights as ghosts, getaway weekends on the coast of the Gulf, Sunday afternoons in Frothy Monkey. Unfortunately, it appears there was no turning back from here.
I think it is important we recount a few instances detailing her severe love bug infection.
In Texas
Here, A.W. is shown expressing positive sentiment around Lexicon. This is not possible of any normal human. She is even pictured spending her birthday with him and watching him eat green beans at 11:00PM. The fondue and crab cakes pictured here do look pretty dank so we will give her a pass on this one.
In Greece
This bug seems to have entered the deepest, darkest parts of A.W.’s brain. Seen here is her in Europe with Lexicon. They have convened on the other side of the Atlantic… In Greece
In ‘sf’
Some witnesses have spotted A.W in California in Lexicon’s primary residence, noting she was even there for weeks on end. She even decided to venture into the wilderness with him… alone. However, she did not trust him when it got dark, showing what we thought were signs of improvement.
In Nashville
After running various analyses and contact tracing, we have identified Nashville as the location of illness incidence. They have had one too many fun nights as ghosts, getaway weekends on the coast of the Gulf, Sunday afternoons in Frothy Monkey. Unfortunately, it appears there was no turning back from here.
Past Medical History
After objective analysis from our lab we have identified the following preexisting and still present characteristics of A.W.
Beautiful – her smile will seduce you if you are not careful.
Kind – she has consistently put others’ needs above her own and dedicating her life’s calling to improving the lives of others.
Intelligent – med students are scared to round alongside her.
Loving – she has been Lexicon’s best friend for the last five years and is always there to make him feel loved.
Beautiful – her smile will seduce you if you are not careful.
Kind – she has consistently put others’ needs above her own and dedicating her life’s calling to improving the lives of others.
Intelligent – med students are scared to round alongside her.
Loving – she has been Lexicon’s best friend for the last five years and is always there to make him feel loved.
Physical Exam
Our intern, “Mrs.” Says A.W. has passed all physical exams.
Recent Labs
We have only collected a fecal sample, which is pictured here smiling.
Prognosis
After detailed investigation into A.W.’s condition, we believe the only course of action is to double down on her dose of ‘love’. There is no turning back at this point in time. We have prescribed her a ticket to Jersey Boys, lots of homemade Italian pasta, and potentially skating in Rockefeller Center if she is not too cold. We will continue to monitor her systems throughout the course of these events.
